no sunrise for me this AM. didn't sleep well, so at one point justturned my alarm off. i'd seen enough sunrises. deb still got up, but it turns out they were there about 1.5 hrs early and were freezing. glad i stayed in bed! had the usual breakfast then packed up and shipped out. one last photo stop of coffee bay allowed us to see some dolphins off the coast. but then it was starting to drizzle, so i was thankful that we had the previous day of sunshine while at the beach.
the ride was only 200k but it seriously took forever - thanks to a combination of bumpy roads, construction and traffic thru towns. we were supposed to stop at another beach for a few hours but were running so behind that we didn't have time. so just pulled over the side of the road and quickly ate our lunch. i can't tell if their time estimates are just really off, or if they're unorganized. either way, after a 6 hr drive i was ready to just be somewhere.
we finally arrived at the cultural village khaya la bantu about an hour late. i felt really bad because they were obviously waiting for us for a while. they started singing and dancing as soon as we arrived (one little girl absolutely stole the show), and after an intro we were escorted into a central hut to be closer to the fire. the sun was quickly setting and the huts had no electricity, so we didn't get a great view of the village that evening. mama tofu was our host and gave us a talk about her culture and her people. the explanation about the various dresses - from the young child to the adolescent virgin to the "old middle girl" (unmarried adult) to the "old girl" (married adult). glad i don't have to dress a certain way to designate my social standing!
we split into groups of male and female - the guys entered a circle and we stayed on the outside as only females of that clan could enter. got a bit more history related to the importance of ancestors and superstition. then got to try some local beer - just about everyone made a face. it wasn't something i'd drink a lot of, but it wasn't awful either. next we continued our segregation and the females learned all about courtship. some things worth noting: there's no sex until marriage, and no "funny kissing" or else the guy will "wave his boat over you when you fall and you won't be a virgin". ha.
the steps to becoming married are quite simple: #1 when the guy says "i love you" you are not to smile or else he'll think you're easy. after several meetings where you ask him (1) what is your clan (2) your name (3) your job -- notice the clan name is more important than his first name -- then you hold hands and this shows commitment, which is step #2 in the courtship. finally step #3 is the actual marriage ceremony where you go into a sheltered hut and can't come out until your father or brother slaughters a cow. then you can emerge and start your duty of making babies.
one more funny part - i swear mama tofu was hilarious! but it was all true - was that they actually test you to see if you're still a virgin by making you squat up and down for 30 mins. if you can't do it then CLEARLY you wasted energy the previous night by having sex. once proved not a virgin, then you must point out the boy who violated you. then he gets in trouble and either must pay a cow (R900) or go to jo'burg for a year to pay off the fine. i'm very thankful i'm not a female in mama tofu's tribe; i couldn't squat up and down for a half hour - sex or no sex!
met up with the guys later in the dining hut, which also conveniently had a bar. turns out they got an earful about circumcision which happens between the ages of 18 and 21 - ouch. i guess the day before the ceremony they "drink a lot" of beer to "dull the mind" (and seemingly other things). the day of the ceremony the elders sit in a circle and poke your penis back into itself over and over to "stretch it". then the medicine man pulls it back out and spears it off, giving the foreskin back to the boy's father to put in a bible or to eat (barf). then the male must go out hunting for 6 weeks followed by an additional time where he cannot talk to anyone. i think the guys were equally glad not to be a member of the tribe, ha.
during dinner (a fantastic meal of lamb stew, mashed pumpkin, 2 corn dishes, chicken and bread) we were treated to another performance of dancing and singing, and they pulled several of us up to join. i'm pretty sure lisa and i were married off at one point. the same little girl once again stole the show. dessert was fried dough and bread pudding - all delicious. we sat around chatting for a bit and got into a debate about women's rights (and you know i get quite heated about that topic). turns out chris our driver felt women shouldn't have the same rights as men and that's basically why our world has gone to shit. uh huh.. definitely changed my opinion of him and made me thankful i have wonderfully supportive men like G in my life who admire and are attracted to strong, independent females.
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